Laugh out loud.

Instead of writing a usual blog, I thought it would be a better idea to compile some of my favourite Tommy Cooper jokes to brighten your day =)! Enjoy!

1) I went to the doctor the other day,
I said 'it hurts when I do that'
he said ' well don't do it'

2) A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says:
'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'.
I said: 'What for, Officer?'
He says: 'My chips are too hot'.

3) I had a meal last night,
I ordered everything in French,
surprised everybody,
It was a Chinese restaurant.

4) I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'.
I said 'I want a second opinion'.
He said 'all right, you're ugly as well'.

5) I went to the doctor the other day
I said 'have you got anything for wind'
so he gave me a kite.

6) I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife.
Filthy, dirty and covered with cobwebs....
but she's good with the kids....

7) Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant.

8) "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'.
He said Hundreds & thousands?'
I said 'We'll start with one.'
He said 'Knickerbocker glory?'
I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
9) A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
10) "So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

11) Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother HoChaChu.
But I think it's Colin.

12) So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
"Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'