Sunday

It's another cold Sunday evening in Belfast and one that brings forth the end of a stressful month - to welcome another stressful season for yes I start back to University tomorrow. This will welcome more revision and planning a dissertation which is heartbreaking. I have to start thinking about topics to write an 8-10000 word essay on and a few things have came to mind;

1) Why is poetry so well respected when it is as boring as watching grass grow?
2) Why is the fictional character of Edward Cullen so dreamy?
3) Could I write a sequal to 'The Color Purple' and call it 'The Color Maroon'?

These are the front runners at the minute. It's difficult to imagine myself becoming so engrossed in one topic that I'll be able to hold my attention for the next 5 months and write a VERY long essay on it. I need to set my priorities straight - no more procrastination, no more watching rubbish repeats on the television and no more making promises of doing 'no more' then not following through. There has to be a way of motivating ones self which doesn't involve becoming a hermit who only emerges from the library/room/wherever else people study for food, toliet break or to watch Jeremey Kyle on the television. If my lack of motivation continues I may end up on the Jezza Kyle show one day asking for a lie detector test on myself to prove that I can't continue bullsh*ting myself that I am THIS LAZY. Maybe the rehab and aftercare will help unlease my inner organisational skills and my inner genious can then emerge??.....

Back to reality

Well it is literally is like the song suggests back to life, back to reality! I have just spent two days at a spa with my other half lazing about in a jaquzzi and hot tub and the only worry was where to eat dinner! Now, it's back to the harsh realization of how shit life can be sometimes! I always wonder why rubbish things happen in life and why you can go from feeling extremely happy to feeling like rubbish all within the space of a couple of days. Although, I have to follow the mindset that every cloud has a silver lining or I think my creative thought process would give in to madness. It's so nice sometimes just taking a step back and giving yourself some mental space to re evalue certain situations that occur in life - I believe that everyone should be given a 2 day spa break each year and I can guarentee that the stress levels and anger within our country would decrease rapidly! SPA BREAKS FOR ALL - HERE HERE!! But before this pipe dream comes into action it's time for me to start considering proposals for my dissertation for my final year of University - I would love to write a creative/mind blowing piece of work which has my tutors gobsmacked by my talent but I fear this is again only a pipe dream (to which I must live the majority of my life). Bring forth some wine/beer/alcohol and get the creative juices flowing (double entendre) or else send me back to the spa and let my relaxation commence once more.

Getting my life back on track

It seems strange not being able to write about the stress I'm currently feeling due to the mountain of revision scattered around my room as YES, my exams have actually ended....for the time being anyways! It's time for me to get my head sorted and get my life back on track instead of sitting like a hermit  wearing only PJ's and only emerging from my room to get food. I have got my ass in gear and have joined a new and exciting theatre company which I am thrilled to be a part of (I will write more when I have something to write about it) and I am currently counting down the hours until I go away to a spa for two days. Yes, you heard that right, a spa. I'm not some pompous rich brat who can only 'unwind' with an expensive spa break, it was a Christmas present which is greatly needed! From tomorrow I shall be chilling in a jaquzzi and swimming pool, lounging in a fabulous room and getting wined and dined...such a shame it's only for two days rather than the couple of weeks which is sorely needed. But, at least I can escape from the depression of Belfast for 48 hours and I plan on thoroughly enjoying it! I am so underprepared, I was doing good trying to get myself motivated for things but it's 12 hours until I go away and I have yet to think about packing (when I say packing I mean I have to physically go to shops to get a few things)....alas! To town I go!!....very slowly and coldly (Belfast, bring some sun to us soon PLEASE?!)

It's the final countdown

Today is the final day of revision for moi as come 4pm tomorrow I shall be free from exams FREE I TELLS YA...well until May time anyway! I can honestly say that I'm just staring blankly at words, I'm not able to take anymore information into my brain. I wish there was a way of remembering things to write in an exam, I was thinking about testing a theory which if I ever become a teacher I may indeed try with a class....which is....do revision with music...as in pick a song you like and change the lyrics to what you're revising then when you're in your exam hum the tune and hopefully you'll remember something. For example, I could take Pink Floyds 'Another brick in the wall' and change the lyrics to ''I don't need no education, the duty of care is part of negligence, teachers try using forseeability in the classroom, hey teachers, leave those kids alone, in loco partentis, human rights act 1998 blah de blah *hums guitar interlude*....on second thought, maybe that won't work...I'm going to let my brain relax for a while as it is Thursday evening which means one thing only....TV NIGHT! I have my night set as follows e4 = The Big Bang Theory followed by Rules of Engagement followed by How I met your mother followed by Happy Couples followed by a very happy and television satisfied Nicola.

Lets get physical...

Like almost every person on this planet I decided to hold the New Year as a new start and decided to get into a routine of healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. So far, I am actually quite proud of myself as I signed up to a dance/fitness class which I have attended weekly (only been 2 weeks so far, but better than nothing) and I have also joined the gym again! Now, to give myself some credit I was in a great routine of working out last year but then I stupidly broke my foot and had to stop exercising/walking like a normal person for over 3 months! But now I'm back and ready to kick start good health. I have decided to cut down on alcohol (which is going to be very difficult judging that every post I have writen has had some out right comment about my craving for wine) and I am attempting to eat healthy (after my fitness class on Monday evening I ate a pizza, curry chip and onion rings, the shame of my lack of willpower)! As I write this I am taking a break from revising for my last exam this term, have just done 10 minutes on the exercise bike and am attempting to drink water and not crave tea/chocolate/crips/anything tasty! I have found that my motivation to get fit is strangely thanks to porn like sounding sounds. My playlist on my ipod for the gym is as follows;

1) Barry White - I'm gonna love you a little bit more babe
2) Hair - Aquarius
3) LMFAO - Sexy and I know it
4) Beyonce - Run the world
5) Murray Head - One night in Bangkok (as I like pretending I'm strutting on the treadmill to this)
6) Moulin Rouge - El Tango De Roxanne
7) London Bustop - Kung Fu Fighting

I can assure you all that if you stick on an 80's neon coloured headband and listen to this soundtrack, you are guarenteed to get fit...in the style of an annoying fitness couch ''LETS FEEL THE BURN''! I'm off to feed the geese with some weights now....peace, love and happiness ya'll. *Hums lets get Physical*

January 16th - ANOTHER exam...

I had another exam today, I honestly feel like all my life consists of at the minute is waking up, eating, revision, eating, revision, eating, bed. This is not good! And now I must get the energy for the zumba/chair class I'm taking at the minute but I'm going to faint if I try and be energetic....silly exams having me up at silly o clock and having no social life due to revising silly topics...it's all very silly if you ask me. I need to get my jazz hands at the ready instead of worrying about Fridays' exam. Although, to be fair today wasn't too bad, spending 3 hours speaking about Edward Cullen isn't exactly work - Stephaine Meyers BRAVO in writing that character, he is a dream! Anyway, to wake myself up I better put on some sexy music and awkwardly dance around my room and pretend that I look somewhat good when I really look like a constipated duck with gas. My poor little brain is thought out, I honestly don't know what I'm doing with myself today as all I can think about is 'please get me through Friday and get my social life back....please' I wonder what it's like for all you people in the big world out there with no exams, is there sunshine in your life? Do you hear birds singing sweet songs outside your window while you wake to welcome you to another wonderful day of your life?...Well if you do....GO AWAY.

January 16th - ANOTHER exam...

I had another exam today, I honestly feel like all my life consists of at the minute is waking up, eating, revision, eating, revision, eating, bed. This is not good!

Sunday 15th January

This time next week I will finally be able to get my life back on track as my January exams will be finished! I won't know what to do with myself - maybe write a song or a poem or something else creative - surely it can't be THAT difficult to write a song judging by some of the lyrics which have stuck out to me recently....take for example Bruno Mars' song "It will rain" opening lines "If you ever leave me baby, leave some morphine at my door, cus it'll take a whole lot of medication to realise what we used to have we don't have it anymore"....so basically what you're saying Bruno is for your  fans to become more dramatic than what they already are and if they happen to break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends they should turn to Morphine??....Don't get me wrong I like the song (downloaded it #BrunoFan but you get my point?) So maybe it won't be so hard for me to write an award winning song, maybe I'll suggest that people become addicted to cooking roast potatoes like myself and it'll be seen as a controversial and influential song? Possible opening line for the song-  "If you come to see me baby, leave some cooking oil at my door, cus it'll take a whole lot of time and dedication, to realise that cooking roast potatoes will take over an hour".... Over the weekend I got to watch my first ever Hockey match - it was hilarious watching grown men scream obsentities at one another over a ball...much like other sports which I just don't get the appeal of. I will never understand how men can get X amount of thousands of pounds a week for kicking a ball about a pitch when there are soldiers and doctors who are fighting for their country and saving lives who get paid next to nothing what they deserve. If I had a say in how anything was ran in this world I would firstly get wages sorted for those who deserve it, banish examinations for students at University (do you not think we did enough while at Secondary school?) and bring in my plan of the summer of love which I have spoken about in previous blogs!  Instead of procrastinating I suppose I better start revision for my exam in the morning, ohhh the joys! I hope you all had a good weekend and remember Peace, Love and Happiness!

Friday 13th

With it being Friday 13th today, superstitious people may be locked in their bedrooms wishing they had a bubble to put around them, but for me today has been a fabulous day as I have been given an interview for a great University in Belfast to complete my PGCE (Teaching Certificate)....this has gave me mixed emotions - on the one hand I'm over the moon that I've been given the chance to get an interview but on the other hand I've already let myself believe that I have failed already. I also have two important exams next week and have spent today making roast potatoes - I think I have a potato fetish as I seem to make them quite often (needs a hobby). It seems really scary that I'm growing up, no longer do I base my weekends on waking up before 9.15 to watch SMTV Live with a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea, no longer do I get excited about Thursdays as school ended half day and no longer do I have the energy to walk for miles, instead I'm tired and grumpy all the time, sleeping until 8am is a lay in for me and the only thing which seems to excite me is drinking wine and making roast potatoes. In yesterdays post I wrote about how I'd like to try out the age of love mindset, well this starts from tomorrow - I will make myself wake up early, with a smile and happy attitude and not procrastinate on social networking sites all day - no...I will motivate myself to do something useful like revise....exciting. Actually, I will start revision tonight by watching Twilight for the 10th time this year, watching that beautiful Robert Pattinson and pretending to revise = winning. A glass of wine and Twilight.....I suddenly have an overwhemling sense of happiness inside..... *wipes drool from mouth*

The age of love

Earlier today I downloaded the song Aquarius and it made me want to frollock through a meadow wearing a colourful maxi dress with flowers in my hair throwing petals at people as I pass them...the age of love is back! *When the moon is in the seventh hourrrrrr* Why can't we all just have peace, love and understanding in the world? Lets revert back to the 70's when people wore flares, danced to the Bee Gees, had hair like the girls from Charlies Angels, referred to having sex as ''getting it on'' a la Marvin Gaye and instead of shooting bullets from guns protesters shot flowers instead as a mark of freedom and peace. Too many people nowadays are obsessed with airing their dirty laundry on social networking sights and also too preoccupied with money and advancing up the social ladder instead of seeing what's really important in life. In my hippie world I would great everyone with a hug, use the peace symbol instead of giving another two fingered expression and try to see the good in everyone - although this may be hard it would certainly be a nicer place to live. Maybe I should start an experiement and live a hippie lifestyle mindset, stop sweating about the bad things and think of every cloud having a silver lining! What a nicer world it would be to live in......peace out mans and keep yourselves groovy baby! *Does peace out sign*

January 11th - Exam time

Today was the start of exams week and to say I'm exhaused would be an understatement. It was the first time in my life that I had to sit and use my brain for 3 hours without taking a break...I think I've pulled a muscle in my wrist from writing - and to all you dirty buggers out there it was literally for writing! Although one good thing has came from revising...I now understand poetry and my verdict is...it's still shit! Why would I care how many different ways your can describe a cloud Wordsworth or how in love with nature you are Percy Shelly? Why not do something meaningful with your lives instead of making me study you and your crap?!....As you can probably tell I am not in best forms for I am mentally exhaused, writing 15 pages of rubbish really takes it out of you! On a lighter note, I joined a Zumba class and was also very suprised that it involved a bit of chair lap dancing - yes you read that right - lap dancing (That's right Ma, I'll become a pole dancer still and make you proud). I was walking like John Wayne for 3 days after but one thing I will say is Bravo to any proffesional pole dancers out there, you must have abs of steel....it could be me one day. I've already chosen my song 'You can leave your hat on' by Joe Cocker (second name purely coincidental to this joke) If I fail my exams at least I know there is a proffesion I could potentially be good at......baby take of your coattttttt...

No Motivation...

It is now the 8th of January and the New Years motivation which I held a mere 7 days ago is well and truely over. I promised myself that I'd go to the gym at least twice a week and that I'd join a new and exciting class to help me get back into shape and to get in better health....well 7 days later I have been to the gym twice and have already badly pulled the muscle in between my ribcage meaning that I'm crouching over like the hunchback of Notre Damn and I start my new class tomorrow meaning that if I'm not able to move due to said pulled muscle I will be paying a lot of money for nothing. Yes, it's safe to say that my new year cheer is well and truely gone. I've also been writing a lot recently in my blogs about revision, this is due to the fact that my important exams start in 3 days and to say I'm unprepared would be a joke! I can honestly say my motivation for everything in life over the past few days has dwindled and left. I can only hope that I wake up in the morning and that my inner genious will arrive to save the day like has happened in the past, but I fear I'm just living in false hope. On a brighter note I now feel I can rightfully call myself an amatuer chef as I made my own roast potatoes this evening and they were lush - this is what my 22 year old life has came to - writing a blog about my roast potatoes...On that highly exciting note I am going to go get myself a glass of wine and stare idly at some more books and kid myself that I'm 'revising'.

Stayin' Alive

Whilst getting ready to go for some lush pub grub in town earlier today I was listening to the wonderful Bee Gees greatest hits and it made me realise that there is no occasion in life where a Bee Gees song may not fit in....for example Night on the tiles: You should be dancing, Funeral: Staying Alive, Broken heart: More than a woman, Tragic occurance in life: Tragedy.....yes, I can honestly say that I wish I had a boombox and a soundtrack to my life and I'd happily let that soundtrack be the Bee Gees. Also, while at lunch a poor older women collapsed and lay on the floor, I was extremely tempted to start singing stayin alive as the inner Bee Gee in me has seemed to take over my mind today, I'm embracing my inner Barry Gibb. Although this would have made a terrible situation very awkward, I feel I would have made this uncontious woman express a love for the Bee Gee's when she woke up...who knows?!

January 7th - Stayin' Alive

Whilst getting ready to go for some lush pub grub in town earlier today I was listening to the wonderful Bee Gees greatest hits and it made me realise that there is no occasion in life where a Bee Gees song may not fit in....for example Night on the tiles: You should be dancing, Funeral: Staying Alive, Broken heart: More than a woman, Tragic occurance in life: Tragedy.....yes, I can honestly say that I wish I had a boombox and a soundtrack to my life and I'd happily let that soundtrack be the Bee Gees. Also, while at lunch a poor older women collapsed and lay on the floor, I was extremely tempted to start singing stayin alive as the inner Bee Gee in me has seemed to take over my mind today, I'm embracing my inner Barry Gibb. Although this would have made a terrible situation very awkward, I feel I would have made this uncontious woman express a love for the Bee Gee's when she woke up...who knows?!

January 6th - Procrastination

It dawned on me today that I am in my final year of University and I still havn't mastered how to revise - the good intentions are there, the stacks of books from the library are sitting at my feet, yet I cannot get into the mindset of revision. I honestly don't know how students can sit and revise for hours on end, for weeks before their exams....I must have a really bad memory as if I revise more than a few days before an exam then it slips away out of my brain like a fart in the wind. My mind is too full of jargen to take in important revision things, how am I expected to push out thoughts such as 'will Adele loose her credibility when writing album number 3 if she's in a happy relationship, considering all her previous songs make me want to lay in a ball in a dark room and sway slowly' or 'I wonder can I convince my mind that this pizza that I'm eating is a really healthy meal?'. Instead I'm having to subject myself to sit and read book after book after book about what happened almost 200 years ago as when this poet said one thing, he was intelligently hinting at something else......I.DON'T.CARE!!!! I'm slowly but surely going down the road of alcoholism as while I type this all I can think about is the bottle of Merlot sitting in my kitchen just wanting to be opened....I thought I was stronger than this....but bottle here I come *throws down poetry book and does slow dramatic run to kitchen*......awwww that's better *takes sip of wine*.....NoW WHere WAs i..............

January 5th - I've got the power!

Today has made me realise something very special about myself, I have the ability to bullsh*t my way out of certain situations, for example, I was THAT nervous about the dentist that I decided 'hey, I don't want you to drill in my mouth today' so I simply said 'I don't want anything done today, is that okie?' and proceeded to talk rubbish for 10 minutes...yes, that is right, I simply sat in the dentist and talked rubbish! Who cares if it's cavity central, I am not needing to slurrrrrrr me wrds *bad attempt at slurring*. I also done the mandetory singing of ''I'll be a dentist, I have a talent for causing things PAIN''....which should have went down a treat as it was comedy gold, but alas, I was just blankly stared at...not even a smirk! I decided to use this new found power for good use and go to the library, what with it being 6 days until an important exam and I havn't started any revision yet, I got handed 8 books and thought, yes, I'm going to do work and do well....So far I've been home 30minutes and I've already decided to go to the gym in an hour and sort my room (also write this blog). Why is it that when I know I should be doing anything important I always procrastinate?! I know I need to learn about Romantics and Victorians, but it was allll sooooo lonnngggg ago! Why can't I be studying a degree in watching television, I'd pass that with first class honours!!! I better stop ranting today and get ready to feed the geese at the gym, I feel I should reenact an 80's montage of Oliva Newton John's video of 'Physical'....put the colourful headband on, wear the lycra shorts and leg warmers and skip into the gym with my boombox on one shoulder and a weight with my flexed muscle in the other....Lets get physical, PHYSICAL!

January 4th - Ma Mere et Pere Bon Anniverser!

Today is my mum AND dads Birthdays! Who does that happen to? 2 weeks after Christmas?! It's another event in my life which is quite funny and strange! I have started watching funny videos on youtube for inspiration to start my own - the best by far is from a guy called Chris Kendell (think that's spelt right) if you havn't already done so, check out his videos under the name 'crabstickz', they are too funny! I'd like to think I could think of funny things to improve infront of a camera to put online, but I fear my boring bastard side would emerge too much and people would realsie that I'm just not funny at all....which the majority of people already know! I could always re watch my Monty Python video's and possibly do a modern take on the 'ministry of silly walks'....this would be worth it to walk around Belfast city centre with someone following me around with a video recorder whilst I walk....mmmm maybe not! I should start a recording tomorrow as I have a horrible trip to the dentist in the morning, I always seem to start making ridiculous small talk to hide my fear and ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL sing the song 'Dentist' from Little Shop of Horrors..I can't help it, I know they've heard it before but I.Just.Can't.Stop.Myself! When I write my blog tomorrow I'll try and slurr my typing to represent my numb mouth.....stupid teeth! Why do dentists even exist?! Can they not just f**k off on an island with the easter bunny and Jedward?...

Janurary 3rd - The day it was windy

I don't know about the rest of the UK but Belfast's weather is terrible! I've sat in my house (supposed to be revising) procrastinating watching rubbish television and wasting my life away on facebook and twitter. This has me thinking, why on earth do we feel the need to write about every aspect of our lives on social networking sights? I have only recently joined twitter but the amount of tweets I have read which have went along the lines of ''had a bacon sandwhich today, it was good'' or ''it's so cold outside''...well done, this has really benefitted and influenced my day. I'm not completely innocent in keeping privacy, as alas I have started blogging and using facebook to broadcast my wims and woo's of the world (almost starting a war due to my opinions on relgion) Can people not learn to live in this world with peace and love? Let's go back to the 1960's and 70's, wear flowers in our hair, listen to sexual music whilst swaying to and fro in some field and give everyone the peace sign (which I'm trying to bring back to say 'hello' to people)?? Due to the terrible weather I have also developed cabin fever (it is 17.15pm and I have only been awake from 11am)...this 6 hours and 15 minutes stuck inside a house has got me thinking about all the things I could be doing if the weather was lovely outside....knowing fine well that I wouldn't have the motivation to do them even if it was nice. This may be the reason for sharing information on social networking sites, although I keep looking at the clock and in the style of big brother saying ''it's 5pm in this shitty house and nicola is still doing nothing''....I think I might need a hobby.

January 2nd 2012 - Revision

I can honestly say I sometimes wonder why I decided to go to University for 3 years of my life when I don't have the motivation nor the incling to revise for exams. I know that if I put my mind to it I'd be able to achieve marks, but how can I possibly do that when there are things such as television, facebook and Edward Cullen distracting me (I suppose that counts as revision as having to read the Twilight book for exam). From talking with friends who are at University themselves, it seems that the majority of students simply go to University as they're afraid of entering the big bad world of employment and feel that this three years will be a journey of self discovery, where they meet their true love, become part of a cool group of friends and realise that they have the creative flair of Shakespeare hidden deep inside. Unfortunately from being at University I have learnt the following thing - 1) I am very lazy and procrasinate far too much *looks out window for 10 minutes staring at a leaf* 2) I am not inspired by poets nor authors the way an English degree student should be - the poetic words of Heny don't make me want to shed a single tear and frollock through a meadow, they simply make me angry and want to punch him in the face for being so utterly boring and depressing 3) I have realised that I may have a problem, as when I read anything sexual in a book it automatically draws my attention...which nothing else really does and is followed by either a ''yeoooo'' under my breath or a ''you dirty bitch'' and finally 4) English students are some of the most pompous people I have ever met in my life - just because you know four different ways of describing the tone of a book doesn't mean you are the shit. My sinister approach to education leaves me contemplating why on earth I want to be a teacher - secretly I'd love to take my acting and dancing career further than Belfast, but my accent and lack of arrogance leaves me stuck behind my books, until the day that an agent calls to my door and tells me that I'm staring in the next big film alongside Bradley Cooper and Kristen Stewart....awhhhh one can only dream. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBHBWVV0Ut4&list=FLk-28EONBfKfE1GqOM9bd4Q&index=19&feature=plpp_video

1st January 2012 - A New Year

Well, it's that time of year again, were new resolutions are made to be broken, where I decide in vain that I'm going to get the body of a supermodel, work hard for University and generally be a better person. These resolutions will last approximately 2 weeks, then when I realise that it's not only expensive but hard work to eat only healthy food, that I'd rather be watching Come dine with me than read Daphne Du Maurie's 'Rebecca' and that too many people piss me off for my bad little traits to become somewhat angelic. Although, in saying that, January 1st always fills me with some curious hope and optimism, a sense of 'what will I be doing this time next year' constantly riffiling through my head...I suppose I've only got to wait another 364 days to answer my own rhetorical question. A start has been made on the universal 'New Me' mind set that men and women throughout the world have in January - I have changed hair colour and am about to sort out my room and give clothes to charity (bringing in the angelic good me)...this should be an interesting year.