Whilst sitting in work and having a general chit chat with a co worker I realised something which probably should have stayed hidden in a closed box at the back of my mind....I asked the question of what makes you you? If for example, like myself, you have only been single for 8 months in total between the age of 14 - present have you allowed yourself time to grow as an individual or have you merely morphed into a 'half' of a couple rather than a whole person?
Although this may seem like a silly concept, it has got me thinking about how one can in hippy terms ''find oneself'''. A lot of people feel the need to travel, to meet new people, embrace new surroundings, while others 'discover themselves' at university. I have never experienced this new found sense of self. Is this a bad thing? I feel exactly the same person as I was when I was 13 years old, the only execption being I think of outcomes differently, with a lot of my decisions being based on money (Can I afford this? Will I be able to pay for petrol this week if I do X?) By opening these thoughts I have freaked out slightly and at the present time am googling years out to Australlia/somewhere which isn't Northern Ireland and wondering if I am wasting my life by not thinking about this too much?...
Whilst sitting in work recently and catching up on my celebrity gossip (I openly love the drama surrounding fame) I realised that I am quite the fan of reading agony aunt columns. I would adore a job of getting sent individuals problems, being paid to judge them then writing some hilarious, generic response in hope that it will solve their woos. Within my group of friends, I was usually the person who people told their problems to, even strangers in the street would confide in me stating that I have an 'honest' face...maybe I should open up an agony aunt blog and set about my mission for helping man kind....
Dear Nicola,
I recently found out that my boyfriend is cheating with me with his great aunts, sisters, uncles, niece and I've just found out that I'm pregnant with my brothers baby...Help!
Yours Sincerely,
Jeremy Kyles No.1 fan.
I could have a saying just like Jezza....something along the lines of ''GET OFF MY BLOG''......I'll maybe work a little harder on something more creative. This pipe dream may stay this, but as the youth of today say Y.O.L.O which I interperit to mean ''you're overly loud oink''....
At the moment my life consists of working, eating, moaning, sleeping....that's it! Although this week it was my Birthday and I wish I could state that it was a lovely occasion....it truely wasn't! It will be a memorable one, but not for reasons I would have liked, falling out with family, working (poor me) on the day, having my birthday presents thrown at me and getting yelled at to and I quote ''light your own f**king Birthday cake''.....it was simply delightful! The only part of my day that didn't suck was getting suprised by my lovely work colleagues by a birthday cake and a very thoughtful card....it's simple things like this that mean a lot to me!
At the age of 23 I thought I would be an award winning actress/dancer with a fabulous career under my belt....I niavely believed that I would be talent scouted and that all my ramblings of ''you'll see my name in lights'' to people at school would come true! Ahhhhh to be a childish fool. So many people wish to be famous and be in every magazine, but I truely just wanted credit for my acting, nothing more, nothing less. I have lost my spark recently, I need some creative inspiration to get it back....it was drama that kept my lift alive and got me through some horrendous moments within life....but it seems that over the past year I have started to lose who I really am.....if you find me give me back to myself....
