Boxing Day!

(My kitten Milo looking as happy about Christmas as I was)

First and foremost - WE'RE ALIVE!!!! We made it to Christmas! For all those out there who hoped the world was going to end on December 21st, thus meaning you didn't have to buy any presents....all I can say to you all is ''I fart in your general direction''. Christmas is now over and done with for another year! Although, sadly it didn't feel much like the usual joyous occasion for myself. In Belfast there has been hundreds of protests which have lead to the two sides of the community fighting and causing disruption in and around the country, this has had a negative affect on most of Belfast and certainly put a downer on the spirit within the city. Not only this, but I have been ill over Christmas....yes.....ill!! I couldn't eat a Christmas dinner nor drink merely in a corner of the room in my new pj's whilst watching repeats on television, no - instead I was sitting in the corner of the room, laying with greasy hair, old pj's on and taking green tea and paracetemol...it was riviting!

I have started doing my usual thinking which happens at this time of year...I start thinking about resolutions which I wish to make/not keep for 2013!...I have a list of around 5 at the minute...but I plan to stick to them this time...I'm 23, I'm getting old...I need to hold on to my youth and stop being such a boring person.

Agenda - Must make interesting resolutions for 2013 and STICK.TO.THEM

 

Quarter life crisis...

Whilst sitting in work and having a general chit chat with a co worker I realised something which probably should have stayed hidden in a closed box at the back of my mind....I asked the question of what makes you you? If for example, like myself, you have only been single for 8 months in total between the age of 14 - present have you allowed yourself time to grow as an individual or have you merely morphed into a 'half' of a couple rather than a whole person?

Although this may seem like a silly concept, it has got me thinking about how one can in hippy terms ''find oneself'''. A lot of people feel the need to travel, to meet new people, embrace new surroundings, while others 'discover themselves' at university. I have never experienced this new found sense of self. Is this a bad thing? I feel exactly the same person as I was when I was 13 years old, the only execption being I think of outcomes differently, with a lot of my decisions being based on money (Can I afford this? Will I be able to pay for petrol this week if I do X?) By opening these thoughts I have freaked out slightly and at the present time am googling years out to Australlia/somewhere which isn't Northern Ireland and wondering if I am wasting my life by not thinking about this too much?...

Dear (....)

Whilst sitting in work recently and catching up on my celebrity gossip (I openly love the drama surrounding fame) I realised that I am quite the fan of reading agony aunt columns. I would adore a job of getting sent individuals problems, being paid to judge them then writing some hilarious, generic response in hope that it will solve their woos. Within my group of friends, I was usually the person who people told their problems to, even strangers in the street would confide in me stating that I have an 'honest' face...maybe I should open up an agony aunt blog and set about my mission for helping man kind....

Dear Nicola,

I recently found out that my boyfriend is cheating with me with his great aunts, sisters, uncles, niece and I've just found out that I'm pregnant with my brothers baby...Help!

Yours Sincerely,

Jeremy Kyles No.1 fan.


I could have a saying just like Jezza....something along the lines of ''GET OFF MY BLOG''......I'll maybe work a little harder on something more creative. This pipe dream may stay this, but as the youth of today say Y.O.L.O which I interperit to mean ''you're overly loud oink''....

Happy Birthday to me...

At the moment my life consists of working, eating, moaning, sleeping....that's it! Although this week it was my Birthday and I wish I could state that it was a lovely occasion....it truely wasn't! It will be a memorable one, but not for reasons I would have liked, falling out with family, working (poor me) on the day, having my birthday presents thrown at me and getting yelled at to and I quote ''light your own f**king Birthday cake''.....it was simply delightful! The only part of my day that didn't suck was getting suprised by my lovely work colleagues by a birthday cake and a very thoughtful card....it's simple things like this that mean a lot to me!

At the age of 23 I thought I would be an award winning actress/dancer with a fabulous career under my belt....I niavely believed that I would be talent scouted and that all my ramblings of ''you'll see my name in lights'' to people at school would come true! Ahhhhh to be a childish fool. So many people wish to be famous and be in every magazine, but I truely just wanted credit for my acting, nothing more, nothing less. I have lost my spark recently, I need some creative inspiration to get it back....it was drama that kept my lift alive and got me through some horrendous moments within life....but it seems that over the past year I have started to lose who I really am.....if you find me give me back to myself....

Continual ramblings of a tired girl...

Hello fellow worldies!

Continuing from where my last blog, I am still very tired, I am still very grumpy and I am still convinced it 'IS BUTTER' (for those who get that terrible attempt at a joke....I aplaud you). Over the past couple of weeks I have tried/failed to get into the full time working life routine and have discovered one thing....it just doesn't happen. I am either walking about like a zombie (ironically suitable for the time of year) or in a grumpy, sleep deprived mood. I need to embrace my inner zen, become one with nature and welcome the early starts and late finishes.

Last night was my first attempt at a night out which involved seeing the hilarious comedian Jon Richardson in Belfast....it made a nice end to a long week. Although, it was ruined by my yawning and horrible body telling me at every opportunity that it was going to crash at any second....how do you all keep the energy alive?!! You know you need to man up when the only thought going through your mind is ''ohhh I'd love a nice warm cuppa and a piece of toast'....old before my time!

Ideally I could become an award winning author, one who sits infront of my computer writing wonderful tales/rambling books with a cup of tea on my desk and a muffin as a break time reward. My only problem is I lack the creativity/energy at the moment to create such a tale. Or maybe I should record my thoughts on a youtube video in the hopes of being spotted, join the millions of people who truely believe they will be talent scouted and be intervied on Daybreak or the likes due to their videos about makeup/covering songs/something else which I don't care about...watch this space.

I'm so tired...

Dear world wide web,

I know it has been a while from I have posted a rambling blog, but the truth is I am EXHAUSTED! Who knew that working full time would be so tiresome? I certainly didn't...nor did I think the system would beat me! I know understand the sarcasm in Dolly Parton's lyrics ''working nine to five, what a way to make a living, working nine to five, it's all taking and no giving''....yes Dolly, I agree that the work life is taking all my personality and happiness from me! My life now consists of the following;
1. Wake up at 6am
2. Very sleepily put my make up on
2 1/2. Very often poke my eye with mascarra due to being in sleep haze
3. Reapply make up and try not to blind self
4. Leave house and get bus to work....stay in work until 5pm
5. Return home from work in same sleepy haze that one left the house in the breaking dawn
6. Moan to anyone who will listen about sleepiness
7. Have a large glass of red wine
8. Watch something half heartedly
9. Go to bed at 10pm
10. Realise that I'm even more of a boring bastard than I was 6 months ago
11. Sleep....ohhh do I sleep
12. Awake at around 4am startled because alarm hasn't went off and panic that I have missed work
13. Realise I have at least another hour in bed, go to sleep....almost immediately alarm goes off....
14. The routine starts again....for 5 more days....

The youth saying of Y.O.L.O ....meaning (you only live once) has never had LESS meaning as to what it does to me...people can only live once kids because we are all TOO EXHAUSTED to live any longer.....BOOOOO to tiredness.....BOOOOO to working 9-5.....I seriously need to be talent spotted...become a famous author/journalist/actress and leave my 9-5 lifestyle behind...

If someone hires me in their feature film/wishes to publish my work then I will not only include some banter...but I'll bring doughnuts...

Random Funnies - Part Deux

Due to the lack of excitment in my life recently, I have little to no inspiration to write this blog, apart from that of a rambling, hormonal woman which isn't exactly a good read. There I have dedicated this blog to some jokes that have amused me in recent days - Enjoy!

• Today marks 8 months of being with my man. I have never been so happy! We have a nice house, several pets and are now engaged. You could even say my life was perfect. The Sims was the best Christmas present ever.

• My new girlfriend said to me, "Be honest, how many women have you actually slept with?"
  
  "Just four," I replied.
  
  "Four women in your whole life?" she asked, "That's pretty good."
  
  "Oh sorry, I thought you meant since we've been together."

• "Knock, knock," I said to my blind mate.

"Who's there?" He asked.

"Doctor,"

"Doctor who?"

"Correct!" I giggled.

"I see what you did there," he replied.

And that's when I reported him for benefit fraud

 

 

1337845

 

A new season

After numerous rambling blogs about being unemployed, getting rejection letters and basically feeling useless, I was very suprised to recieve a phonecall a couple of weeks ago congratulating me on gaining a place on a graduate scheme. This is a much needed boost and kick start to help me stop being a lazy, Jezza Kyle loving bum and to get myself ready for the land of the 'adult world'. I wondered how long I could clutch to the joys of youth, to the feeling of University deadlines and spending my student loan in Primark etc! Although the scheme is only for a year, it will hopefully give me the skills needed to land a full time job at the end of it. At the age of 22 I am going through a change of mind, one of which that is telling me to become independant, fly the nest etc....in other words I need to find my own home. It's a strange feeling as 5 years ago the thoughts of ever moving into my own house was very daunting...who would do my washing? Make my dinner? Look after me when I'm ill??!! I still worry about these things, but hopefully now I'm on the right road to start saving money for a house deposit....Although, just incase, I'll ensure that I do a line on the lottery each week just incase.....one can always dream.

Repetition

Before embarking on my University career, I was lead to believe that I would complete three years of higher education, discover my 'true self' and create some fantastic memories like those on an american sitcom and that I would strut out of my education a better person with fantastic employability skills and walk straight into a well paid job. Although, it is now almost two solid months from I became a graduate, I have applied for hundreds of jobs and have yet to recieve even a rejection letter. There has to be a silver lining to this cloud or I will become like one of those females seen on repeats of Jeremey Kyle whom pass their time by trying to find out who their ''baby daddy'' is or whom brings an ex partner who they dated for 2 weeks around six years ago on to have a lie dectector test....this may be how I have to pass my time. My moping around my house has became more noticed and commented on....it used to be ''you have to get a job''....but now it has gotten that bad that I'm getting pity from even the man from across the street....he looks at me and knows my umemployed pain.

Many keep advising me to enjoy myself whilst I am not ''a slave to my mortgage''.....although this isn't the case for me. How am I supposed to enjoy myself with no money. My reply shall be from this day forth -'I shall enjoy myself if you start to fund my days''. Looking back on my recent blogs there seems to be an atmosphere of depression about me *someone throw me a happy pill*. I hope that something good is on its way into my life so as I can sound like my happy self, rather than that of a hormonal EMO who hates the world because noone understands them. I don't think my repition of waking in the morning, watching silly repeats of Jeremey Kyle shows hoping that the outcome is the reasurrance that my life hasn't hit rock bottom................YET.

Inspiration in music

Music has always been an important aspect of my life, when times get hard it's always comforting to listen to a piece of music/lyrics and realise that you're not alone. I have decided to dedicate today's blog to some of my favourite lyrics. Artists such as Paul Mccartney, John Lennon, Daryl Hall, Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder have been given an extrodinary talent of lyric writing. Lennon and Mccartney have an amazing ability to turn such basic lyrics into songs with deep and beautiful meanings; they do this with such simplicity like no other  and no artist in the world has ever came close to. I have compiled a list of some lyrics which touch my heart...I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Also - make sure to have a listen to these tracks and others from these artists, they are simply fantastic. Geniuses of music.

1) And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make - The Beatles: Golden Slumbers

2) Though I've been in love before, but in my heart I wanted more, it seems like all I really was doing, was waiting for you - The Beatles: Real Love

3) When I feel cold, you warm me and when I feel I can't go on, you come and hold me, it's you and me forever - Hall and Oates: Sara Smile

4) Don't play that song for me, cause it brings back memories, of days that I once knew, the days that I spent with you, Oh no! Don't let them play it, It fills my heart with pain, Please stop it right away, Cuz I remember just what he said, He said, "Darling"And I know that he lied, You know that you lied,You know that you lied, lied, you lied to me - Aretha Franklin: Don't play that song

5) Whatever happened to, the life that we once knew, and we couldn't live without eachother, when did we loose the touch, that seemed to me so much, it always made me feel, so free as a bird like the next best thing to be, free as a bird. - The Beatles: Free as a bird

6) Like sweet morning dew, I took one look at you, And it was plain to see you were my destiny, With arms open wide I threw away my pride, I'll sacrifice for you, dedicate my life to you, I will go where you lead, always there in time of need, And when I lose my will you'll be there to push me up the hill, There's no, no looking back for us, We got love sure enough, that's enough, You're all, you're all I need to get by - Marvin Gaye and Tammie Terrell: You're all I need to get by

7) Today I saw somebody who looked just like you, he walked like you do, I thought it was you, as he turned the corner, I called out your name, I felt so ashamed, when it wasn't you, you are everything, and everything is you. How can I forget when this face that I see, brings back memories of being with you, Ohh my darling, I just can't go on living life as I do, comparing each girl with you and they just won't do, they're not you - Marvin Gaye: You are everything

8) I'm so tired of being alone, I'm so tired of on-my-own, won't you help me, girl, just as soon as you can. I guess you know that I, uh, love you so, even though, you don't want me no more, hey, hey, hey, I'm cryin' tears, all through the years, I tell you like it is, honey, love me if you can. - Al Green: I'm so tired of being alone

9) Love and happiness, Something that can, make you do wrong, Make you do right, Love and happiness, Wait a minute something's going wrong, Someone's on the phone, Three o'clock in the morning, Talkin' about, how she can make it right, Well, happiness is when, You really feel good, about somebody, Nothing wrong with being in love with someone - Al Green: Love and Happiness


10) Baby Im amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe Im afraid of the way I love you
Baby Im amazed at the the way you pulled me out of time
Hung me on a line
Maybe Im amazed at the way I really need you

Baby Im a man and maybe Im a lonely man
Whos in the middle of something
That he dosent really understand
Babe Im a man and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby wont you help to me understand
Paul Mccartney: Maybe I'm amazed


11) We can't play this game anymore
But can we still be friends
Things just can't go on like before
But can we still be friends
We had something to learn
Now it's time for the wheel to turn
Grains of sand, one by one
Before you know it, all gone

Let's admit we made a mistake
But can we still be friends
Heartbreak's never easy to take
But can we still be friends
It's a strange, sad affair
Sometimes seems like we just don't care
Don't waste time feeling hurt
We've been through hell together
Todd Rundgren: Can we still be friends

12) Oh yeah, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand, When I say that something, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, Oh please say to me, You'll let me be your man, And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand, You'll let me hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, And when I touch you I feel happy inside, It's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide, Yeah, you got that something, I think you'll understand, When I say that something, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy inside, It's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide, Yeah, you got that something, I think you'll understand, When I feel that something, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand.

The Beatles: I want to hold your hand

Some Light Relief

Over the past while I have felt frustrated with the lack of good things happening in my world, therefore I have decided to dedicate this post to some funnies to hopefully make all you lovely people in the world smile if you're having a bad day =)!

• My boyfriend says that I never solve my own problems.

How do I prove him wrong?

• I came home from work early one night to find my wife and my best mate, sweaty and breathless in the living room. I said, "What's going on?"

 My wife said, "Erm... We've been playing on the Wii Fit." She winked at my mate and said, "Dave did VERY well."

As I walked out of the room, I heard them giggling and calling me a "dickhead", but I had the last laugh. I checked the next day, and none of his scores had even registered!

• Having just met my blind date in the pub, I brought her a drink and, as we sat down, some jive music came on the jukebox.
She said, "There is something about the jive I find sexy."So, to impress her, I waved my arms about doing the hand jive. She moaned that she was getting wet. I said, "Am I turning you on?""No, you still have your fucking pint in your hand."

• A guy walks into a local pharmacy and up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him, he says, "I'd like ninety-nine condoms, please." With a surprised look on her face, the pharmacist says, "Ninety-nine condoms? Fuck me!" To which the guy replies, "Make it a hundred then."

• A young lad wanders into Boots the Chemist and asked to buy condoms. The Chemist manages to convince the lad to buy a dozen multicoloured condoms which were on offer. Nine months later the lad is back to buy a maternity bra. "What bust?" asks the chemist. "I think it was the blue one."

• When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom...Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.

• I went on a date this evening. I said, "So, are you a vampire?" "No," she said, with a puzzled look on his face. I said, "So you can see your reflection and you still come out looking like that?"

Time goes by.....so slowly

I think back to an 18 year old me, someone who had ambitions, who thought that embarking on my educational journey and going to university to not only better myself as a person but to better my chances of gaining employment. I was someone who naively thought that I would strut out of university and walk straight into a well paid, respectable job....I always seen myself as Carrie Bradshaw, a freelance writer for a fabulous magazine who lived in a rent controlled apartment in New York who had amazing clothes, 3 best friends and a live to build 6 series on *I'm literally just reciting the plot of Sex and the City* I also believed that I would be spotted by some talent scout and that my dancing and acting skills would have me on the big screen working alongside the likes of Rob Patz *playing my love interest obviously* or they would see potential in me to be cast as Ana  Steele in '50 Shades of Grey'.....ALAS.... but you get the drift. I graduated in July and have been unemployed from January....basically the money was dwindled to nothing. I feel like a 8 year old child who needs to beg their parents for money for a 5p packet of crisps.

The scary thing is that I'm not alone.....thousands of recent graduates are facing the same problems. The majority of us went ot Univesity having believed the hype that it would better our chances of  employment, but in reality it has done the opposite. There was an article circulating in the papers recenetly which stated that recent graduates couldn't even get jobs as binsmen and road sweapers - this has to stop. At 22 years old, I am at a point in my life where I want to start saving to buy my own house, to start my life away from the family home, to make memories and to become an independant adult....but the way things are going at the moment I'm going to end up more like the guys in 'Step Brothers' rather than Carrie Bradshaw and the likes.

I will have to grin and bare the hideous routine that I find myself in daily, waking up at 9am, strolling leisurely downstairs, getting a cup of tea, putting on the television and watching repeats of Jeremey Kyle....simply to remind myself that I haven't hit rock bottom.....just yet.

50 Shades of housewife pornography?

I have recently finished reading the book that is hot on everyone's lips 50 Shades of Grey, simply as I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I'm not sure whether I'm just very picky when it comes to my taste in literature or because I have become a recent English graduate and over the past three years have had the love of reading drained from me; but author E.L James has plagurised two fantastic books, added a bit of pornography and smack, bang what do you know, became a multi millionaire. There is no doubt that the book is somewhat entertaining and an easy holiday read, yet I cannot understand the multitude of love thrown towards it. The book is classed as 'Twilight fan fiction' and there is no doubt the writing style of Stephaine Meyer has been a great influence over Jame's writing, but quoting Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'urbervilles at every interval within the novel is simply amatuer to say the least. I appreciate and encourage any individual who wishes to push their creative talent in any shape or form they enjoy such as writing, acting, making match stick men....whatever you see fit....yet this has got me thinking, that if it is THAT easy to write such a successful trilogy, then I'm going to put pen to paper, copy two authors writing styles and become a famous writer too. Watch this space....Nicola Meg Price's award winning novel will be out in 2014 - as influenced by the likes of Helen Fielding and Stephaine Meyer. On saying this....I'm somewhat enthused about reading the second book of the 50 Shades trilogy; we could all use a bit more titillation in our lives.

Laters Baby.

Ohhh employment...where for art thou?

It is safe to say that, after having gaps of education during summer holidays and enjoying lazy days spent doing nothing in the house have, after 22 years, began to grate on me. I absolutly HATE sitting doing nothing productive when I know I could be out starting a career and making money; whereas at this exact moment in time I'm sitting writing a blog, not making any money and just being a general moan (what's new?). Maybe it's time to start taking action and trying to think of a fabulous idea to start my own company? Maybe I could be paid to stand and make sarcastic remarks at events/at people? Or maybe, just maybe, I could actually get a paid acting/dancing job? Nope - that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. I'm at a point in my life where I'm standing looking at two roads and I don't know which I need/should go down....one road encourages me to start my own venture and life and to start taking risks and the other road tells me to sit back and believe that everything will be okie. If I havn't said it before, DO NOT GO TO UNIVERSITY UNLESS IT'S 100% NECESSARY!! I could have been in a job for 4 years now, having a savings account like an adult and beginning to look for a house/travel destinations. Instead, I'm an unemployed student bum who is in debt and my immediate future looks as though I'm going to be sitting in my house watching repeats of Jeremy Kyle....fantastic.

There's gotta be more to life?...

At the moment my life consists of one thing and for a change it's not university work....it's actually rehearsing for a show I'm taking part in in Belfast named DEJA VU. My once boring statuses on social networking sites about university work taking over my life has now resulted in further boring statuses about this show taking over my life. At the verge of graduating from university, I fear I may be taking a quater life crisis, especially about a career; I thought I wanted to do teaching...but now the fear has struck and I am in the same position which stereotypes every student in the world. I will have a degree (fingers crossed) be £20,000 in debt (all for the sake of a piece of paper to allow employers to further critise me) and am still without a career. At the age of 10, I imagined my life to be completely different when I would reach my now age of 22....I imagined that I would have a successful career, beautiful house and would be a well respected actress and dancer who was adored by the masses. Unfortunately, reality struck after watching several episodes of teen drama Hollyoaks and realising that the Northern Ireland accent sounds as though one has a speech impediment on screen as well as a constant nasal deficiency. The only conclusion I can take from the midi - crisis is that every cloud has a silver lining, if one has to listen to the likes of Sigmund Freud and go down the route of fate, life has to have something wonderful (and hopefully happy) in store...

DEJA VU

I co - run a drama group in Belfast named the Shankill Players. The purpose of this group is to bring a sense of community back to my local area while promoting performing arts. For as long as I can remember I have been a slave to performing arts, as cheesy as it sounds, it has got me through some really difficult times in my life. It's a fantastic way for a person to forget their trouble or stress for a couple of hours and pretend to be another person, another character. At the moment I am trying to advertise a new show that my group is putting on. We are currently just two weeks away from premiering a dark comedy entitiled DEJA VU, which I am extremely proud to say was written by my own mother. For anyone who has ever had a dream they will understand the passion and time that goes into making your dream a reality. Drama is my dream, always has been and always will be. Here is a short synopsis of my upcoming show:

The Shankill Players are proud to present a new dark comedy,  DEJA VU - FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY (Tuesday 12th June 2012, 7pm - Spectrum Centre, Belfast. Tickets cost £6 and are available from the Spectrum Centre NOW!) - See this hilarious dark comedy before it's taken to several festivals throughout Belfast! This dark comedy centres around Etta, a middle aged women with a hidden past, as she tries to deal with the emotional battle between her alcoholic and abusive son Charles and her daughter in law Gail as they begin divorce proceedings. Follow this complicated love story with a few dark twists along the way. A show not to be missed for any theatre lovers!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you would like more information on upcoming events with the Shankill Players then follow us on Twitter, Facebook (search Shankill Players) or visit our website at www.shankillplayers.co.uk (currently under maintanence)

We will also be holding auditions for our upcoming pantomime Beauty and the Beast on Wednesday 13th June for any other theatre lovers in and around Belfast!

The Shankill Players are proud to announce that our pantomime in 2012 is going to be....BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! We will be holding auditions on Wednesday 13th June from 7-9pm at Crumlin Road Church, Belfast -BT14. We are looking for singers, actors and dancers and also people who can help with scenary design, lighting, costume and fundraising (there is a place for everyone in the group!) For the audition any singers will need to prepare a song and bring a CD along to the audition with them. Actors will be given a short piece of script to read on the night. Dancers will be shown a short routine by the Shankill Players choreographer and will be performed within a group. This is a fantastic opportunity for anyone aged 11 who wishes to gain more experience in performing arts or wishes to become a valid member of a well established drama society. Anyone wishing to audition should email xnickyx_05@hotmail.co.ukand register their interest or check out our facebook page (search shankill players) and leave a comment and a member of the group will get back to you asap! The Shankill Players meet every Wednesday at Crumlin Road Church between 7-9pm and the pantomime will be peformed in December! AUDITIONS WILL TAKE 15 MINS FOR SINGERS AND ACTORS AND 30 MINUTES FOR DANCERS!

Some Funny Texts!

Enjoy!

Ch ch ch changes

It has come to mind that I finish my university life in 16 days...just over two weeks I will no longer be an undergraduate and be able to make excuses for my lack of employment. This is a thoroughly scary thought. It has also made me realise that no matter what ambitions or plans I had for my life when I was younger have came true. At the age of 13 I imagined when thinking about an older version of oneself, that at 21 I would have my degree, 22 have a teaching job, 23 be engaged/and or living with my fiance and have a good salary. Alas, at 22 years old, I will be graduating from University in just over two months time, I have no job, no teaching post (as it is ridicuously difficult to get into a PGCE course in Northern Ireland) and have no money to my name. I am facing one of my worst fears at the moment, being an unemployed undergraduate stereotype. I could go as far as to say I am suffering bouts of a middle-life-crisis...this is not a good sign!

I need to get my head cleared, get the last pieces of work completed, handed in and start thinking about this new chapter of my life and where it's going to lead me...every cloud has a silver lining, or so the saying goes...therefore I should take this as a positive step and take a little time to figure out what this thing called life has in store for me! *ohhhhhhh deep*

Happy Easter

First and foremost I'd like to say a big Happy Easter to everyone, I hope you're having a great day! I'm not an overly religious person, therefore Easter to me is simply the time of year when it's okie to eat large amounts of chocolate until you make yourself physically sick. This is somewhat wasted on me as I'm not a massive chocolate fan (call the food police, a women who isn't that into chocolate!) It has got me thinking how many silly holidays have been created by the advertising agencies throughout the world...non smoking day, St Patricks Day, April fools day (the one day of the year where women can't be more original to think of telling someone their pregnant, then laughing and saying ''APRIL FOOLS''...grow up and think of something better)...the list can go on. These holiday's are simply an excuse for people to drink more alcohol and feel okie about doing so...it's 3pm in the afternoon, it's Easter, open the wine!  It proves my point about marketing, people associating Easter with a 'Bunny' and 'Chocolate' rather than the religious aspect of it, I wonder if I start calling April 14th 'SEX DAY' and advertise it throughout the world for long enough, will this be made into a national holiday? Where people aren't allowed to leave the house and simply spend the day making love with their partners, or if they're single....it can have the subtitle of 'VIBRATOR DAY'...you got to broaden your market! The only marketing holiday I actually like is Valentines Day, as the inner romantic in me loves the idea of people throughout the world falling in love and opening their hearts to people, new relationships starting, millions of babies being concieved due to lack of condoms due to being 'in the heat of the romantic moment', again, lots of chocolates being bought to show your loved one how you feel. But again, there is a bad side to even this holiday which is, singletons throughout the world become bitter spinsters and reside to the fact that if they are women, they will be single forever and have only the company of their 16 cats in a one bedroomed flat to survive for. And if you're a man and single on Valentines Day, then you simply play your Xbox/playstation/whatever the new game is and reside to praying on said single girls in clubs and hoping they are feeling lonely and depressed enough for you to 'comfort' them and get them drunk enough to bring home, again, creating another genre of babies which shall go under the category ''was concieved on a marketed holiday, due to mummy feeling alone and bitter and daddy feeling horny and having alcohol''. I dislike how people are programmed to feel a certain way at certain times of the year, but I'll save the rest of my rant for another blog. Be merry, eat chocolate galore and remember, it's never too early for wine!

Good Friday

As it is Good Friday, I have decided to try and make it a GOOD day for everyone in blog land by giving another few of my favourite jokes, enjoy =)!

1) I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'.
I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'.
He said 'How can I help?'.
I said 'Break my arms!'

2) I went to the doctor the other day,
I said 'it hurts when I do that'
he said ' well don't do it'

3) This little old lady was frightened. She looked at me, she said 'Do something religious'.
So I took up a collection.

4) Sometimes I drink my whiskey neat.
Other times I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.

5) I'm on a whisky diet,
i've lost three days already.

6) I hurt my back the other day.
I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.

7) This fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress.
He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot.
He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away.
Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by.
When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him.
It was a different elephant.

8) I slept like a log last night. I woke up in a fireplace.....

9) A man walked into the doctors, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places.
The doctor said "well don't go there any more"

10) For the scientifically minded.
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

Embrace Happiness

Last night I was lucky enough to be at the comeback tour of my favourite childhood band 'Steps'. It made me realise what a joy it is to be able to go back to the mindset of the 13 year old you and embrace your childishness. Dancing and singing at the top of your voice for two hours was exactly what I needed to de-stress. This got me thinking, that you don't  have to do anything expensive or overly special in order to get back to your true happiness, simply referring back to a happier time in your past (for me seeing my favourite childhood band) helped me to appreciate happiness again. Like many other students, I am in the final few weeks of my education and therefore feeling the pressure and stress to meet deadlines and do well in my degree - dancing to cheesy music helped ground me again and realise that pressures and stresses I had as a child and bad situations all went away with time, even when you felt like your world was crumbling around you, I can look back now and smile at situations. This will happen again, all this sadness and stress which I feel now, when I look back in 5 years time will seem like nothing. It's a lovely experience to feel, just to gain a lost perspective and outlook about life again, all steming from a concert. These few weeks of hard work are nothing compared to what life has thrown at me in the past, I need to zen and get focused *feels appropriate to start humming/chanting here* Moral of this blog is, if you're feeling upset or under pressure, do something that has made you happy in the past such as listening to your old favourite band or watching a film which makes you smile and remember - situations and people which made you feel down in your past are no longer relevant - just like situations in the present day will be irrelevant 5 years from now. Smile and be true to yourself  =)!

Laugh out loud.

Instead of writing a usual blog, I thought it would be a better idea to compile some of my favourite Tommy Cooper jokes to brighten your day =)! Enjoy!

1) I went to the doctor the other day,
I said 'it hurts when I do that'
he said ' well don't do it'

2) A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says:
'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'.
I said: 'What for, Officer?'
He says: 'My chips are too hot'.

3) I had a meal last night,
I ordered everything in French,
surprised everybody,
It was a Chinese restaurant.

4) I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'.
I said 'I want a second opinion'.
He said 'all right, you're ugly as well'.

5) I went to the doctor the other day
I said 'have you got anything for wind'
so he gave me a kite.

6) I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife.
Filthy, dirty and covered with cobwebs....
but she's good with the kids....

7) Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant.

8) "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'.
He said Hundreds & thousands?'
I said 'We'll start with one.'
He said 'Knickerbocker glory?'
I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
9) A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
10) "So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

11) Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother HoChaChu.
But I think it's Colin.

12) So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
"Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Meh!

Unfortunately there will always be a period throughout life when things go wrong, whether it's you can't seem to say or do anything right, you get snowed under with work or you just feel down, but the thing to remember is it will get better. Take for example, for the past 4 days, nothing I have said or done has been correct, things being written on social networking sites, university work getting too much....but the thing I have to remember is that every cloud has a silver lining. Yes, a rant on a social networking site may make you feel somewhat better at the time, but you have to take a step back and instead of pointing the finger at others, take the time to re-evaluate why YOU'RE unhappy. It is true that in order to be happy you should surround yourself with positive, influentual people - which sometimes is impossible. Although, I'm going to take the mindset of trying to see the positive in all situations - life is what you make it. Everyone has down days, some for more valid reasons than others, but we shouldn't put those people down or make their situation about us - everyone deals with things differently and it's important to remember this before you start giving your opinion. I have realised that I am getting overly hyped about little things due to the fact that I graduate from university in a month and a half and I, like millions of other students am stressed to meet important deadlines and trying not to fail! If I could ask one thing today, it would be for everyone to take a step back, count to ten then re-evaluate a situation before making a judgement. Enjoy your life and if you dislike another person, take the ''got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all'' approach.

Live.Life.Love <----- Be Happy :)!

*Insert.Fake.Smile*

I don't know whether it's just the stress of life or that I'm becoming a mature adult but I really don't have the time nor energy for immature people any longer....some people will just never learn to grow up. When I applied for University, I pressumed that it would be a time of finding myself like they do in the movies, a time for learning what I'm like as a person and not be subjected to the immature rants and bitchiness of school children....I was sadly mistaken. It seems that it doesn't really matter what age you are or where you are, you will constantly be in the company of people who aren't on the same  level as yourself (and I for one lack maturity for the best of times). It's not just university which is full of the school/mean girl esq cliques, it's in employment, when walking down the street, when going into a shop to buy milk. Wherever I go or whatever I seem to do in life, someone will always take a dislike to me or someone else and make a situation ridiculously awkward. I wish life could just be full of happy people who just want to have a good time and not make others feel secluded or make nasty comments, but I don't live in care-bear land which is full of fluffy clouds and farts which smell of candyfloss. At the age of 22, I don't want to mirror those on the programme 'grumpy old women'...I simply wish to be surronded by happy and supportive people, people who make it worth getting out of bed for in the morning. There are people like this in my life, but there is always a handful of others who seem to push their way in to make my mind say bad words on a daily basis. I wish I had the balls to write ''just go f**k yourself and shove your attitude where your personaility is, in a sewer''...but I'll simply continue to smile and remind myself that it's just not worth it. I constantly speak about how I feel that the 'age of love' should be brought into our mentalities and that we should take an optimistic approach to life, hopefully one day this will happen...but for the moment I will have to overcome my constant pesimistic attitude and smile through the annoyance and could make a start by stopping ranting my anger and frustration on social networking sites.....*smiles*

Grannyitus

Well, today is one of the nicest days in Belfast, the sun is shinning, I don't feel the need to curl up into a ball for heat, but what do I decide to do?....stay in and catch up on last nights television which I can watch anytime. I'm starting to notice a pattern about myself, I am very lazy. Honestly, if I can get away with not doing something, I will.....This needs to change - I need to find my motivation, my muse, my something to kick my behind and tell me to catch myself on. I graduate University in July and I'm still not motivated to put my all into the next couple of months, is it an admitted defeat to the educational system or again is it out of sheer laziness? Bruno Mars hits the nail in the head with his lyrics "today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna stay in my bed''....well Bruno, I agree with the first part, but I don't particulary wish to spend my day in bed alone, maybe sit infront of the television and watch majestic shows such as Man v Food or Judge Judy....yes, that would be thrilling. I need to get motivated RIGHT NOW - the clocks went forward an hour, meaning that we loose an hour of our day, this should be enough to get my mind in order - I should be thinking ''that's an hour taken off my life for nothing today'' but instead I'm thinking....''ohhhh bed an hour earlier''.....I should diagnose my laziness with something, maybe put it down to ''grannyitus'' which translates to: One who would rather sit infront of the television with a cup of tea instead of gallavanting around the city centre in a short skirt spending ridiculous prices for alcohol. Or another definition - A boring sod who needs to learn to embrace life!

Tired Eyes...

For the past week I have done nothing but stare at a computer due to work commitments, therefore it doesn't suprise me that I know resemble that of a drug lord due to my red, swollen, bloodshot eyes...they feel and look as though I havn't slept for a year! In saying that, tomorrow is a big day in my academic career, it is the last time I will have to hand in a piece of mid term coursework, meaning I only have a dissertation and exam to stress about then that's me free to become a stereotypical student - unemployed and in debt! I'm hoping that July comes faster than I think as I don't think my poor mind can handle any more stress or that my brain can take in any further books! All that complaining done it's now on to the important news; I'M GOING TO SEE STEPS IN 12 DAYS! I adore Steps, they are cheese galore! My childhood consisted of learning/making up routines to my favourite Steps tracks and I was hooked on their eccentric costumes and disney esq smiles! Awwww, if only life was as difficult as it was when I was 9 years old, having to set my alarm at 9am due to rushing downstairs to watch SMTV LIVE on ITV1 at 9.15, then getting ready and going out with my mum to visit my family. Those were the days....* insert memory montage here* Bring on July so that my childhood niavity can recommence for a short period of time, before I have to enter the big bad world of trying to look for employment...."We all love SMTV, Ant, Dec and Cat Deely"

Happy St Patricks Day!

Well, it's that time of year again, when people in Northern Ireland use any excuse to bicker eachother. St Patricks Day, along with many other festivals in Belfast/Northern Ireland should be used to promote a sense of community with everyone. The troubles have been and gone and I wish they could be left in the past. We are all human beings and shouldn't be judged by a relgion you wish to follow. I don't mean to sound like a peace loving hippy, but there is enough violence and hatred in the world - why not just let the past stay in the past and lets teach our children to move forward and to accept people for who they are, not what they have been brought up or chosen to believe in! Use today as a happy experience, enjoy a few drinks with different people and if they can't be grown up about a ridiculous situation then just rise above it and be content in knowing that you're making the future a better place to live in. On social networking sites it is ridiculous that people are being sectarian just for the sake of making a point, which they have been brought up to believe....it truely frustrates me and I just wish more people took my mindset instead of playing up to a stereotype! Have a happy and peaceful St Patricks Day peeps! Have a guinness for me, while I sit in the house like a loner whilst Belfast gets the one day of sun this year....coursework YET AGAIN is ruining my life!

Your father shagged a Watsit?

With the stress of life getting to me at the minute, I have realised that my patience has deteriorated into non-existant - little things are making me very angry or frustrated. Take yesterday for example, I was on the train home from University and was very tired due to an early start, I decided that I would try and do some important reading on the train home, I thought wrong; while trying to get a seat on the very busy train I ended up stuck beside two of the most pompous females I have ever had the unfortune to sit beside. Lets name said girls A and B - A proceeded in a very loud and obnoxious voice to tell details of the night before, telling B about how many men swooned over her and how she rejected 'Billy' as his mate and I quote ''looked like a better ride''....to which girl B proceeded to flick her hair repeatedly and answer back ''Awww mate, all the girls were mingers, I mean, we're classy, too classy for Z club...all the girls kept staring at me cus I looked amazing...seriously, I could have had anyone in that club''.. Now without sounding like a horrible person, these two createns looked like if oxygen touched their face they would explode. I don't know whether they intenionally tried to apply their 'make up' or more like face mask on with a shovel or whether it was to cover up the bags for the ''mega'' night they apparently had before. This thoroughly annoyed me yesterday, as there was me, sitting in the corner of this train trying my best to read a book which I have to write an important essay on, ended up with my ipod on full blast trying to drown out the screeching of said girls voices. Moral of this story is I may not have got any further in my academic novel, but at least I can sleep happy and content knowing that girl A went home with ''Billy'' even though he has a girlfriend, but why should she care, she has can get any one she wants....apparently. Boys of the world, please please PLEASE grow some standards. This is my appeal - for just £2 you too can help stop the milly's of this world. Your £2 a week can buy a pack of make up remover pads, which will stop girls like A and B sitting looking like Watsits on trains in Northern Ireland. Next time you see a girl sitting on the train/bus/coffee shop who looks like their father has shagged a Carrot, please remember that your £2 a week can and will make a difference to society. This girls face is calling out for oxygen and her mouth a rest. Together, we can make the world a more natural place.

The Players

If it hasn't came across already in my blogs, I am in love with anything performing arts related! I have been a part of and helped run a drama group called The Players in Belfast, Northern Ireland for 7 years now. The group is self funded and has put on 6 pantomimes and 2 original plays which I have performed in and choreographed. I feel it is only right to advertise this group as they deserve some recognition! We do a lot of community based work; the reason being that for a long time there was no sense of community in our area - we wanted to change this. By putting on productions and trying to bring the area together we are hoping to bring a bond and closeness back. At the minute the group is rehearsing for our up and coming show DEJA VU which was written by a first time local playwright - we feel it is important to introduce and promote local talent as everyone with a love and passion for the arts deserves the chance to shine! I have found that by becoming involved with Drama and Dance, they have changed my life - it has brought a much needed confidence out in my personality and help me overcome difficult obstacles in my life. I wish I could encourage others who feel the same as I did, who feel like they have lost their voice to join a local amateur group and begin to build up a confidence which has been lost. It's important to become part of something which makes you happy and instead of wasting your time and energy doing nothing, why not try something new?

Check out The Players offical website and keep up to date with any events or performances we will be putting on. We appreciate any help, support or advice given towards our group and we hope that by putting on these performances and helping local writers, that we are contributing even a little bit to our community and raising awareness of the arts for those who don't know much about it. Visit: www.shankillplayers.co.uk.

Enough of the crap!

Today has been an....interesting day. I will never be suprised by how nasty and vindictive some people can be in this world. I have spoken before about how I don't understand how others think they can manipulate and speak to others in an inappropriate way, well this has happened to myself this evening. I believe in karma and I believe that those who act in haste and say things to hurt others or to ruin their reputation whether it be in personal, work related or any other aspect of life that they should take a step back, count to 10 and shut up!! If people wish to work with the public, they need to learn how to deal with them and treat them as individuals rather than scheme and behave childish. I'd like to think of myself as a kind and genuine person, both in my personal and work life. If I have a problem, I will discuss it when appropriate and in a calm and mature manner, but sadly this isn't the case for a lot of people. The moral of this blog is sometimes we act and speak in haste and I wish to advise others to think before they speak as there could be reporcussions. Bring back the age of love - get rid of bullsh*ters!!!

Music

The older I get the more I learn to appreciate influential music rather than listening to the ''hot'' artist of the moment. There is no better feeling than when you listen to either the lyrics or music of  song and it touches a piece of your heart. For me this happens when I listen to the Beatles and Hall and Oates; their music defines genious for me and no other artist comes close to their talent in my eyes. It sickens me to think that this generation of children will look up to artists such as Justin 'shithead' Bieber and think his music is wonderful - I believe that music teachers and partents should force 21st century children to listen to real music to give them a sense of universal talent, artists that changed not only music but generations. Lyrics in a song can mean so much - again a song which means a lot to me is Fleetwood Macs 'Songbird' - " ...and I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright, I know it's right"....With just these simple lyrics it defines what love should be for me. Music is such a big influence within my life and I cannot stress enough how much I detest these young artists who are represented by Disney lets say and who are manufactured to every inch of their lives, music should be raw and full of emotion, it should make it's audience feel emotion, feel something rather than what you're expected to feel due to advertising etc. Some of the greatest songs of all time have been writen by an artist going through a difficult time in their life, being influenced by the world around them - NOT by saying ''baby'' over and over again! I am determind to learn to play my guitar once I graduate, put pen to paper and see where it takes me. Here is a list of songs which have made a lasting impression in my life;

1) The Beatles- Golden Slumbers
2) Hall and Oates - Sara Smile
3) Fleetwood Mac- Songbird
4) The Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice
5) Todd Rundgren - Can we still be friends
6) The Zombies - Time of the season
7) The Beatles - I am the Walrus
8) The Bealtes - Something
9) Hall and Oates - Out of Touch
10) Hall and Oates - You make my dreams come true

Another brick in the wall

Hello people in blogger land! I have been ill for the past week and it has only struck me that it has literally been 7 days from I have done anything else apart from sleep and laze about in my PJ's around the house. I have also realised that I have been 22 for 6 months and I can honestly say I don't have anything worthwhile to talk about from the past 6 months - this could mean one of two things either 1) I lead a boring life which is not worth talking about or 2) I need to realise that time goes too fast and should start living life to the fullest. When I was younger, life used to pass by so slowly, I used to wish I was older so that I could have an amazing and fun life which I dreamt of, yet now, at 22 years old (and 6 months) I can honestly say that my life consists of reading, if not reading stressing about reading, if not stressing about reading stressing about doing coursework, when sitting trying to watch a 30 minute program on television wondering what I could have done towards university in that 30 minutes when watching television therefore not actually enjoying said program and going in a full circle stressing. I've never thought of myself as an anxious person, although education has turned me into a nervous wreck! Panic attacks, heart monitors, sleepless nights, tears, tantrums. Yes - it's safe to say that come July once I hopefully graduate from University with a respectable degree, I am going to take that opportunity to start living my life to the full. Yes, I will be skint beyond belief. Yes, I will probably be bored and start looking for a job and Yes, I will realise that I like 1000's of others I am now in debt and a slave to the education system, but this WON'T GET ME DOWN....Like the famous words of Pink Floyd ''We don't need no education''.......*does air guitar*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR5ApYxkU-U

Sunday 19th Feburary 2012

Today is a rubbish day in my world as I'm sick....yes...I'm afraid to say I feel very sorry for myself, but surely the first step of a cure is admiting that? I have a common cold, which really annoys me as it makes you feel like utter rubbish and yet you get NO sympathy as you simply have the common cold. Where is the happy medium? You can't even cough or blow your nose before someone says a sarcastic comment such as ''ohhhh get over it'' or ''it's only a bloody cold''.....well yes I know that, but it doesn't take away the fact that between the black eyes, lip bleeding every minute, nose like a watertap and voice as tho I've smoked 40 cigs a day for 10 years... the cold is making me feel like crap! I'm also on countdown mode to graduating University (hopefully obtaining a degree) but there is one thing which I shall never understand. Students attend the average university course for 3 years - I have recently been told that it is only my 3rd year which counts towards my degree, thus bringing me to ask what have the past 2 years been relevent for?? Why on earth have I been paying ridiculous fee's to attend a campus and stress myself into a hermit to do coursework and revise for exams when they aren't relevant to the piece of paper which I'll get handed in July which will tell me whether I have the mental capacity to gain a degree....The older I get the more I begin to look at situations without rose tinted glasses - in other words everything can p*ss off and let me mope about feeling very sorry for myself - Now someone pass me a cup of tea and a soother and leave me to grump at the world in peace!

All you need is love...

I feel it's fitting, with it being the day after Valentines Day to dedicate todays blog to the theme of love. What is love? I always find myself thinking about this question - ofcourse you feel different love for different people...friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, your pets....but how do you know describe love? The saying ''love is what makes the world go round'' should be applied more to everyday life, there is no need for violence, negativity or making others feel unimportant - Make Love Not War! Why not use this season of love to show someone you care (I could be employed by Halmark to make greetings cards at this rate). Why not smile at a stranger in the street, offer to help a person in need, simply hug a friend - a simple gesture can make someone's day! I must have been a hippy in a past life, running around with flowers in my hair and hugging trees - bring back this mentality - more happiness and affection - less being a knob! I shall end this short blog with some lovely lyrics to keep up the ideal and theme of lurve;

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand yearsI'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more